08 October 2015

The final goodbye.

Why I Said Goodbye To An Old Friend And Never Looked Back

Life doesn’t always give us an explanation. Sometimes, things happen to us that truly don’t make any sense at the time. Years later, we are still searching for answers to those lingering questions.

I’ve been through a lot in the short 23 years of my life. I’ve been through a lot of good times, a lot of bad times and a mix of everything in-between.

However, if there’s one thing I truly care about and cherish, it’s the relationships I hold with the people close to me.

I am in no way, shape, or form, perfect by any means. I’ve made my fair share of mistakes throughout the years.

I’ve hurt people I never meant to hurt, and for a period of time, I’ve even questioned my own character. But, throughout the years, I’ve learned that some people (even those who’ve been in your life a very long time) aren’t always meant to stay in your life.

And that’s exactly what I’ve learned with you.

We all change. We’re not the same people we were five years ago, and maybe even up to five days ago. We are constantly changing and evolving because we are constantly learning and growing.

If we never changed, we could never move on to the next chapter of our lives. However, there’s a difference between changing and growing together and changing and growing apart.

I like to think I give people a lot of chances. I know we all have weaknesses that can cause us to say or do something we don’t actually mean.

But there’s a difference between recognizing the mistake and making a change and recognizing the mistake and staying exactly the same.

Trust goes a long way for me. I’ve learned it’s something very fragile. It’s not something that should be handed out very easily.

This world is full of cruel and mixed intentions. There’s a difference between trusting somebody with a genuine and sincere heart and trusting somebody who has intentions of hurting you.

For many, many years I trusted you with my life. Although we would often go months without speaking because our lives got busy, when we finally got an opportunity to speak again, it was almost like we didn’t skip a single beat.

But the second you turned your back on me, I had to let you go.

I got to a point in my relationships where enough was enough. I’ve been blessed with the ability to forgive people easily. But that blessing has also been a curse.

People tend to do things they know they can get away with; it’s almost engraved in human nature.

You knew I would never turn my back on you, no matter how many people you turned your back on. I couldn’t let you walk all over me one more time.

Don’t get me wrong; there are days when I miss you dearly. But one too many times is too many times.

You betrayed me in one of the worst ways possible and left me hanging out to dry. True friends are supposed to have each other’s backs. They’re supposed to be there for each other through thick and thin, to stand by each other and defend each other no matter what.

I did it for you too many times, and in the end, all it did was make me look foolish.

I’m not the same person I was five years ago.

Five years ago, I would’ve let you continue to walk all over me and would’ve said things were okay between us when they weren’t. I didn’t give you an explanation because I didn’t feel like you deserved one.

A true, genuine friend goes out of his or her way to make things right when he or she knows he or she is in the wrong. I’m not saying I didn’t have my fair share of mistakes because I’m sure I most definitely did.

But you don’t just turn your back on the one person who never hurt you.

I’m at that age in my life where I truly don’t need anybody who doesn’t need me or who treats me like nothing.

I left you behind because you belong in my past, not my future.

---- Source -----

Found this article on the internet and I feel like I can totally relate to it. It takes longer time than I thought, and the journey is harsher than I could ever possibly imagine, but I know I am walking and reaching to that moment, the moment when I will finally turn my back and never look back again.

4 years ago around this month, I wrote this poem for the very same person. Here I am 4 years later, staring at the same writing, but reading and meaning it in a completely different way. Nevertheless it reminds me not to worry too much, cause later on this is not going to be more than just a story.

eventually people around you are going to leave and only a few of them will stay 
one day, at one point, you're gonna need to let them go 
you might be able to postpone it, but stopping them from leaving is not gonna happen 
even if love is in the air; and no matter how hard you try to hold onto them, 
if they are not meant to be in your life, they will slowly disappear 
but hey, it's not the end of the world so don't worry 
in the blink of an eye this is gonna be just a story 
even though for sometime, the world might turn into grey 
everything will pass and you're gonna be okay 
I promise.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Page views.