17 June 2016

A must and a fuss.

A couple years back when I was in uni, some of my girlfriends and relatives started to be excited over wedding. Like a lot of other girls-turning-into-women, they talked about it, they browsed wedding inspirations and such, they posted wedding-related stuffs on social media, they admired other people's wedding videos and photos and then again talked about it. It's normal, it's perfectly normal in my eyes, but it never happened to me. I thought, well maybe this isn't the time yet, maybe one day when my time has come, I'll be super excited like them.

Nowadays - I don't know exactly when it started, 5 years ago? 10 years ago? - wedding is much more complicated and anticipated by people. People spend huge amount of money for that one particular day. Without us realizing, wedding venues, dresses, accessories, and even services that are wedding-related suddenly become so so expensive. Pre-wedding photos become a must, and wedding preparation become a fuss.

And now that I'm engaged and preparing my own wedding, I am puzzled by own feeling, because that 'excitement over wedding' is no where to be found. I mean I'm excited, I'm looking forward to it, but I love money too much to be able to spend that much just for a dinner reception. I'm not going to beat around the bush here, every time I think about spending money for my wedding, I feel a strong immediate turn-off. Hahahaha what the hell right. But seriously Jakarta is so not money-friendly, ugh I hate it.

I've been saying that I don't wanna bother buying an expensive wedding dress; hundreds of thousands Rupiah plain white dress will do, as long as the design suits my taste. I think it's fine, and a lot of people in the US have been doing this for as long as I can remember, and they're fine, they're happy, and they're still pretty. But few people told me that I should invest more on the dress, because people will look, criticize, and talk about it. And I think that concludes how messed up our society is.

Our pride-driven society has created crazy theories, rules, unrealistic trends about wedding. People get invited to a wedding, but it's not the bride and groom that they're gonna look at. It's not their love story that they're gonna admire and talk about. Instead it will be the quality and quantity of the food, the size of the venue, the appearance of the bride's dress, the estimate budget of the decoration, the amount of flowers spotted, and so on.

I gotta admit I don't understand the hype of renting expensive wedding gown, following the trend of hiring expensive and high class wedding-related services, and etc. Or maybe that's just because me and bf don't have a lot of money to spend. But yea you know what I mean; a lot of people don't have that much money either but they work their ass off to achieve their sort of wedding dreams. And I find it so hard to stay different, because everybody else is deemed to be doing things the 'normal' way. I have had a couple of discussions with my closest relatives about my preference and often feel like being judged as the weird one with the weird taste.

I used to tell bf that I don't want any party for our wedding day because it doesn't really seem important to me, but after a lot of discussions and friendly disagreements (he thinks we need one, but no worries we didn't fight over this :p) we decided to have it anyway. Few months ago thou, someone asked me about my wedding planning and I casually told her, "It's fine with me not having a dinner reception party. What's important is that we're doing the wedding in church; witnessed by families and closest friends. As long as it's legal in front of God, that's good enough for me." But then she shushed me ._. and I was left wondering why. Maybe she thought I was saying nonsense? I don't know. The idea of not having wedding party seems to be terrifying for a lot of people and I am truly wondering why?

Since we're already talking about my weird preference of wedding, here are some other stuffs:

I have told bf since a long time ago that I didn't want to do a pre-wedding photoshoot 'cos I don't want to pay a good amount of money just to be photographed in awkward position, doing awkward pose while showing an awkward smile. Haha I am glad bf thinks the same. He doesn't think pre-wed photoshoot is important, and so we have decided not to do it.

I hate high heels. And I really don't want to wear it on my wedding day. It's gonna be a tiring day, why would I want to have tired and painful feet as well?? It doesn't make sense right. But my mom told me a big NO when I told her my idea hahahaha. Sigh I do think high heels are necessary for my short figure but I still hate the idea.

The only thing that has been done so far is my wedding invitation (and wedding favors) design hahaha 'cos I love making them and they didn't give me headache. I always think I am a pretty creative person, and I can save up a lot of money by doing a lot of stuffs on my own, but the truth is, nothing about wedding excites me as much as making my own wedding invitation. Maybe I am just a paper geek, that's why wedding invitation doesn't scare me off.

Aaaaanyway this isn't me complaining or criticizing other people and their tastes or whatever, it's just a random thought about wedding that I've had for a while. I've been wanting to talk about this here, but got very lazy every time. Gnight!

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